IF: Then

Job interviews rank somewhere below root canal and above lobotomy as things people want to experience. After the euphoria scheduling an interview fades, the dread, doubt and despair set in. "What if they don't like me? Do I have enough experience? I wonder how many people they are interviewing?" Luckily, with an interview we can go in; do our best; and if it doesn't result in a call for the dream job, then we can blame a number of external things: our resume, the organization, the experience, the job fit.

Unfortunately, auditions strip of us of any chance to distance ourselves, yet provide the same dread and dillemas that interviews offer. When we audition, it is is our entire being that is evaluated in just a few moments. There aren't even the pleasantries or formalities to make the experience feel like a reasonable amount of consideration. We walk in; hand-off the obligatory photo and resume and plod towards certain doom. We take the stage and ask for a swift judgement as our voice and body become the criterion for evaluation. No matter how stellar the resume, those moments on stage determine our fate with little chance for a mulligan or "do over."

As we prepare for our season auditions, I mention this not to add more grey to an already bleak proposition, but to point out that all of us sitting in the audience watching the auditions know what you're going through. No one in the room at an audition wants you to fail. They're hoping that you'll bring the exact something special to make their jobs that much easier. They're praying that you'll give them something magical, while you're dreading a a mistake or stumble.

Following are a few tips, to help you with any audition:

1. Relax. You deserve the audition, the part and the chance to prove it.
2. The Audition Begins Now. From the moment you enter the audition space, you are making an impression. Make sure that impression is confident and prepared.
3. Don't apologize. See 1& 2
4. Prepare. No, you won't give the best audition if you've been out all night drinking and haven't memorized your monologue. No matter how good you are, it will always look like you don't care. If you are so disrespectful of the audition process, why should we believe you'll respect the rehearsal process?
5. It's not just your voice. This isn't radio and it isn't film. When you're auditioning for a play, you're bringing your body and your voice to a role. So show that you are aware of the audience and know how to carry a message with your body. A talking head is rarely what a director is looking for.
6. Project. No matter how small the space, you need to show that you can reach the back row and touch them. Even if you know that the production will have microphones, it helps to show the director that you're prepared to use the tools you have.
7. Choose the right monologue. A monologue that doesn't fit your age or body type can often be as jarring as fingernails on a chalkboard. Make sure you've really had enough life experience to do the wisened sage or that you still have that fresh face that Juliet needs. Don't ask the director to look beyond, unless you're really that good.

To those of you auditioning, we wish you well.